Unravelling Yarn

So i have finally accepted that I have bitten of more then I can chew and I am wondering why I did it. Was it because I love what I study and wanted access to more knowledge or was it because I wanted to prove that I could do it or was it to prove that I was smart or was it to impress someone who will never be impressed with me?

Gosh am I that messed up? How can I do this to myself without knowing why!! What is wrong with me? Hmm I feel like slowly unravelling yarn from an old sweater that have been used too long, too often. I just hope that I can pull myself together in time to keep my grades up. If not I will see my worst nightmare come to reality. I WILL FAIL! And I dont know how to do that,I may do poorly but I do not fail. I just need a hug and someone to tell me that what I am doing is amazing and that they love me so very much.

So know what I need to do is find my center and let it all flow. Hopefully it will flow soon because tutorials and termpapers wait for noone.But I am strotng and I shall survive or die trying!

Small Moments

Today I tried not to blow up at a bunch of ppl and guess what?! I held on to my temper! I am so proud of myself!!! I mean you would think that at the level of education that we have attained ppl would be much more responsible when it comes to their obligations to organizations? But I guess that does not apply. Oh well!!! had a good day, besides that, for once I did not fight with Reg and we had a good time together this evening. Small moments make a lifetime is all I can say. Oh well gtg.

Today was yet another day to just exist cause it was very wasted. but say what that is life at least i got my lappie fixed.

Let Me Drown If It Means I can Stay!

I just wanted to my blog to have something on it, so this just seemed the best time to just put my thoughts to web page. LOL ! I so crack myself up, but that might just be a sign of insanity but so far the voices tell me that we are very sane and we are just fine so for now since they have elected me queen I shall abstain from telling them to shut the hell up and let them mutter as much as they want. Anyway I cannot help but feel very angry at my lecturers since I have only 2 classes on Fridays and they are late classes so I cannot go home for the weekend until Saturday and so must stay in my hellhole of an apt on Friday night. Blah the unfairness of all!!!! I just wanna sleep in my own bed and get a home cooked meal of rice and something or another,Just a note I have already sent a full meal listing for the weekend to my mother. I will have all that I dreamt of in the two weeks of starvation I had to endure. I now hate Subway with a passion. But soon I shall be home in my own bed. And I thank the Heavens for that!